


[ongoing]

by Ekphrasis



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-10 22:59:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11701650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ekphrasis/pseuds/Ekphrasis
Summary: Basically, just a collection of one-shots featuring Kadena. Trying to focus on small details in their time together.





	1. first time

Kat Edison doesn’t get scared.

 

She punched an ignorant man in the face and didn’t think twice about the consequences. She faced hundreds of sexist men on the internet. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind in front of an entire board of directors, all of whom earn more in a year than she’ll make in her life. She’s unashamedly posted online about anything and everything that would bring justice for the oppressed. 

 

Kat Edison doesn’t get scared, but right now, she’s fucking terrified.

 

She’s standing in front of apartment 112, and on any other day she’d comment on how disgusting the color of the door was, or how there was trash hanging outside, but right now, all she’s thinking about is how the letter in her purse weighs a hundred pounds and how the words stuck in her throat feel like cotton balls, and she is choking. Feeling afraid was not something she was used to, and that left her completely unprepared for this dark pit that was forming in her stomach, black pooling in her gut. She was drowning.

 

But, she reasoned, she didn’t come all the way out here for nothing. Worst comes to worst, she hands her the letter and bolts. Best, well… she wasn’t going to think about that now. She wasn’t going to think about how that filled her stomach with butterflies and her heart with blood, pounding like a bird trying to break free. If she did, she might lose herself, and seeing how gone she was already...

 

So, that is why Kat finds herself staring at the door to apartment 112, mildly shocked that she found the guts to actually step up and ring the doorbell. The sound woke her up, and she suddenly, violently, felt so anxious she thought she might hurl onto the doorstep, which definitely would not accomplish what she came here to do. She looked down, afraid once more, but past the point of no return, steeling herself for her speech, ready to confess her thoughts -

 

Which she promptly forgot when the door opened.

 

Adena slowly emerged from behind the door, and she was so beautiful she took Kat’s breath away. It was obvious she hadn’t had much time to put her hijab on completely, and it only covered a portion of her hair, leaving the front out. Kat’s chest ached. She wanted to touch her, her hands itched for it, itched to run her fingers through Adena’s hair and to touch the edge of the fabric so light it moved in the breeze, to map the outline of her jaw, the slopes of her lips. She -

 

“Kat…”

 

She came back to reality. Adena was there, Adena expected that she talked to her, Adena didn’t think that Kat came here to tell her that she can’t breathe without knowing Adena thinks about her, Adena didn’t - She needed to say something, do something, she remembered. She needed to start; otherwise, she was never going to, she needed to tell her everything, or nothing at all, she needed - 

 

“I owe you an apology.”

 

Is what she decided on, instead, swallowing painfully. Adena looked down, maybe expecting it, maybe not. Either way, she stepped closer and closed the door behind her, which gave Kat enough courage to go on.

 

“You were right... we are from different worlds. And - I really want you to stay in mine.”

 

Shit. Was that too much? Too sappy, too forward? Kat had stumbled over it, frowning, but knew that because the words made her feel broken, they were right. They struck in that soft spot that had been aching since Adena left her at Scarlet, broken and angry and very insecure, that spot that only hurt more with the woman standing so close. She wanted to hug her, she wanted to feel her warmth and strength, this strength she realized Adena had only after seeing what she could have gone through, realizing what could have happened to her. 

 

Ultimately, she knew they were the right words, because Adena looked at her like she might be opening up to this conversation. Her arms were crossed in front of her, closing her body off, but her eyes were open and glassy, and Kat was going to take anything she got. She charged on.

 

“So I - wrote your letter.”

 

She held it out to Adena, her hand shaking slightly, her heart still beating all too painfully in the soft spot of her throat. It hurt. She wanted it to stop, but she had a feeling it wouldn’t the longer she was around the woman standing in front of her. Adena stared at her, long and hard, making Kat feel uncomfortably exposed, which was, she realized, something Adena was annoyingly good at. Eventually, she took the letter from her, but it wasn’t before she gave another look to Kat that she opened it. Kat couldn’t quite figure out the second one.

 

She saw her open it, saw her nock an eyebrow and smirk at the crisply folded, official letter of recommendation from Scarlet. Kat felt proud, vulnerable.

 

“Way more than 140 characters…”

 

Kat laughed, breathless. If only she knew. If only she knew how much Kat would write for her, how she would run out of pages before she had even started describing the look in Adena’s eyes, the depth in them, the layers and layers of emotion that threatened to drown her every time she glanced up. She felt shaky, like jello, and faintly wondered whether her knees would last the entirety of this conversation.

 

“I wrote about… how uniquely talented you are.”

Adena’s lips parted. A small victory, albeit one that threatened to distract her.

 

“And - how valuable your art is. Because that’s what immigration needs to hear.”

 

Adena looked down and shook her head, and Kat wondered whether she agreed with her, and if not, how unrequited another letter - another book - explaining her point would be. She wanted to tell Adena how powerful her art was, how it brought tears to her eyes when she saw it, how she wanted to reach out through the frame and connect with the subjects she photographed so badly she felt it in her bones. 

 

“That’s perfect.”

 

Kat was elated for a small moment, a rush of air, a beat of her pounding heart. She knew this was it, that this was the line she had to cross, and for a moment she felt like she was still. At the top of a parabola before falling back down, a moment of pure suspension in the air, gravity ignoring her. It was dizzying, terrifying, but Kat decided to gamble on the feeling in her chest.

 

“But what I really wanted to say… was, uh -”

  
She looked down again. Jesus Christ, her throat closed up, and she could barely breathe the very moment she had finally decided to say something. Her heart climbed steadily higher until she was choking on her own lifeforce. 

 

“ - was just - h-how amazing you are.”

 

She couldn’t stop now, she had started, she felt herself slipping, felt gravity pull her down and out towards the blazing sun that was Adena El-Amin, and for once, she let it.

 

“You’re - courageous, and thoughtful, and honest… And you’re the only person I’ve ever met who - you know, completely throws me off my game.”

 

Adena’s lips were parted, and Kat was so goddamn breathless that somewhere in the back of her mind she still found the brainpower to be annoyed at herself. That voice was promptly silenced, though, when she realized Adena looked hung, powerless, waiting on every single one of Kat’s words. Just then, something like hope blossomed in her chest. She was dropping, flatlining, bottoming out, but maybe, just maybe, there was something at the end waiting for her.

 

“And - I-I…”

 

She swallowed, frowning, trying fruitlessly to get rid of the ball in her throat that threatened to send her over the edge.

 

“- I think I really like you.”

It sounded young, immature, but Kat didn’t care, because her heart was pounding right out of her chest, laying itself on her sleeve, jumping towards Adena at every beat, and Adena… Adena looked so vulnerable, her eyes boring into Kat like she was every comfort, every love, she’d ever felt. Her lips were parted, again, a soft exhale probably ghosting her lips, gasping at Kat’s all too non-platonic confession. 

 

It was almost imperceptible, but her eyes dropped to Kat’s lips, and with them, so did Kat’s heart.

 

Holy shit. 

 

It only took Adena’s hands a moment of fiddling before she reached out and cupped Kat’s cheek. She knew what was happening, but it felt fragmented, the blood rushing hard and fast in her ears and in her head. Adena’s hand was so soft, and so warm. That was the last thing that she registered before suddenly being way into Adena’s personal space. She looked at her lips, because goddamn if anything else existed, anything other than her parted lips, beckoning, and her hand still on Kat’s cheek, fingertips grazing the hair falling over her ear. She looked at her lips, but in the corner of her eye she could see that Adena’s eyes were locked on her’s too, lost, completely lost.

 

And then, all of a sudden, there was no space left between them at all.

 

It was instinctual the way she grabbed at Adena with both hands, anchoring herself, because her legs almost gave out, her stomach violently swirling, aching below her ribs. Adena was so, so soft and she tasted like heat, and Kat felt like the ground had suddenly been knocked out from underneath her, felt like she was a star far above that was plummeting down towards Earth. She didn’t think when she slid her hand up Adena’s arm, she didn’t think at all, actually: she could only feel the pad of Adena’s thumb on her hip, applying just enough pressure to make Kat nearly crumble, the tips of her fingers still caressing her cheek, and her lips locked in Kat’s, soft and unrelenting.

 

Adena broke away, and Kat didn’t open her eyes, because she didn’t want it to be a dream, even though she could still feel Adena’s heat, feel her shaky exhale blow over her face. Adena pulled away from her only slightly and simultaneously turned her hand to cup Kat’s jaw. Kat could feel her fingertips in the baby hairs that populated her neck, the aching gentleness of them, and that, coupled with the excruciatingly vulnerable look Adena was giving her, almost made Kat fall apart. Adena’s eyes flitted down to Kat’s lips,  _ again _ , goddamn her, and something in Kat snapped, heat pooling in her gut, telling her to go forward, to feel more of Adena, to feel - 

 

It was slow, but involuntary: Kat surged forward.

 

It was faster, more ferocious. She could taste her, and damn if she didn’t want more of that, if she didn’t want her tongue -  _ oh,  _ her  _ tongue _ … She grabbed her arm, held her in a vice grip, pressing herself against the slender woman, needing so much more than this, much more than three points of contact. It was messy, sloppy, but she didn’t care, she just needed more of that taste on her lips, more of the strength of Adena’s body against her, the substantiality of it, so she ran her hand up her arms, cupped her jaw, grabbed at her body, losing herself in contact. 

  
She was drunk on Adena, drunk on touch and taste and smell, everything Adena taking over in  _ all _ of her senses, and she willingly let herself drown.


	2. Heartless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short, but sweet. And by sweet I mean extreme, bitter pain. Enjoy.

“I booked a flight to Paris. I leave tonight.”

 

Kat’s chest was still heaving, and she distantly thought how it  _ wasn’t fair  _ that Adena didn’t even let her catch her breath before knocking it out of her lungs again. It physically hurt to suck in air through her mouth, and her chest felt like it was rattling every time she inhaled.

It wasn’t even what she had said (which although  _ did _ hurt, and badly), but  _ how _ she had said it, that lodged in her chest the sharpest. Adena was looking up at her with literal puppy dog eyes and Kat could see the liquid pain swimming in her eyes, her lips slightly parted, expecting the worst. She was pleading with Kat, for something, for anything, for understanding, and Kat didn’t even have the presence of mind to catch her breath.

The ghost of Adena’s lips passed over hers, for a fleeting second, and she felt herself in that alley again where her heart was in her throat and stomach on the ground: she allowed herself that moment of weakness before she prepared to rip her heart out of her body once and for all and hand it to the petite form in front of her. Physically, they were standing in front of each other, and Kat was looking down at Adena, but emotionally, Kat clung to her, on her knees, weak and drowning in this black sea that was spiraling around her, begging Adena to forgive her and lose herself in Kat’s skin again.

The rip was not slow. Kat stared long and hard at Adena, hoping against hope that maybe  _ this wasn’t happening,  _ but the longer Adena stayed silent, in pain, the more Kat’s heart was straining against the skin over her breastbone, the closer it came to landing in Adena’s palm. She felt the vibrations in her throat: her body was so focused and finely tuned that all she registered was the smell of Adena’s perfume (that she had tasted earlier, tongue in the crook of her neck, lapping at the soft angles) and the vibrations of her heart that were  _ loud, so loud  _ that they drowned out everything else.

When she heard the echoes of Adena’s voice, heard  _ it’s better that we stay friends _ , her heart severed the last threaded muscle it was clinging to and launched towards Adena, and Kat, Kat  _ knew _ in that moment of flashing white pain, that it would be completely impossible they do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short af. Writing this in a Motel 6 lololol. Love these two.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, like ever, so help a baby gay writer out and add some comments. All mistakes are mine, please point them out gently and I will fix them. Thank you! 
> 
> I am not affiliated with tumblr user coeurdastronaute


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